by AMY INGRAMSingle-Still-Single-Again-1

I was lying in bed earlier this week thinking about how often I dream about my knight in shining armor. How our story will be written, how he will propose, and how many kids we will have in our cute house with a red door and a white picket fence.

I’d wager to say that most single folks longing for earthly companionship have some sense of mind wandering when it comes to the right person entering their lives. And sometimes I blame that on princess movies we watched when we were younger. You know, that beautiful perfect princess found by the perfect, most gorgeous man, and they live happily ever after in a beautiful castle. For girls, you grow up believing marriage is just that. And I would wager to think men probably dream their woman will be perfect just like the princesses.

But let’s be honest, that’s not reality.

I don’t want to sound like Debbie Downer, and I certainly believe we can have our own beautiful story written by our God above, so hear me out.

It all starts with our longings. Do you think longings are wrong? Listen to what David had to say in Psalm 38.

“All my longings lie open before you, Lord; my sighing is not hidden from you…” (Psalm 38:8).

“I will wait for you; you will answer, Lord my God” (Psalm 38:15).

Longings are not wrong; however, longings can become our idols if we don’t offer them back to Jesus. I find myself dreaming so much about the future and having that longing fulfilled, that I lose sight of the present. And when I live outside the present, I can’t glorify God in my daily life.

I had a very sweet friend recently tell me about a conversation she was having with a girl who didn’t understand why this season of singleness had to be so long, and had such a strong desire to see the end in sight. My friend, in a brief word, spoke all over me. She said, “Stop longing. Sit and rest. Enjoy his presence.” Is it really that simple? Yes.

“Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10).

I’d be the first to tell you this is something I really have to wrestle through. Figuring out how to glorify God right now, in the present, and Happily Ever After in the Meantime seek Him as I wait. I have no concept of how much longer that wait will be, but I have to trust the Almighty God has his hand on it, and I long to soak up as much of this quiet time as I wait.

That does not mean that I don’t imagine the day my strong, handsome prince will come. I do believe it will be the perfect way that God intends and I will rest in that. In the meantime, as I fight through those dreams, and taking it to a place that doesn’t bring glory to God, I call on this verse from 2 Corinthians 10:5, “we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

So if you are anything like me and find yourself making up great love stories in your head, stop. It can quickly become an idol. Speak that verse over your thoughts.

This starts a new year—full of resolutions and a time to reevaluate where/who we are. One thing I’ve learned over my years is that God is the only one who can change us. So my charge to you this 2013 is to wake daily and ask Jesus two things:

(1) “to satisfy you, fully, with his unfailing love, that you may sing for joy and be glad everyday” (Psalm 90:14).

(2) “to search you and know your heart, and know your anxious thoughts. To see if there is any hurtful way in you, and lead you in the way everlasting” (Psalm 139:23-24).

Rest in this. He will answer, for he cannot deny His word: “…so is my word that goes out from my mouth: it will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it” (Isaiah 55:11).

Happy 2013!

Amy Ingram is a Senior Account Executive at a local advertising agency. She lives in Madison with her little boo, Mabel. Feel free to contact her at and/or follow her on twitter @ingramjackson.