By Dr. Preston Crowe
Deep within the soul is a God-planted need for community. It bubbles to the surface most often during life’s extremes. We long to celebrate special times with others, and when we go through seasons of uncertainty, we want those by our side who can pray for us, listen to us, and guide us if they have traveled that same road.
The adoption journey often takes us through a whole spectrum of emotions. While joy, happiness, and anticipation are usually in the mix, sorrow, pain, and confusion are no strangers to the process. These emotions can cycle quickly, and sometimes it is hard to know what to do with them. That’s why community matters so much.
Recently, at our Shelter Ministry support group, our participants shared what had been most helpful in their adoption or foster care journey. A central theme was community. This group had offered a place to “rejoice with those who rejoice” and “mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15). Those present shared how much it meant to have a safe place to speak openly with others who “got it” when a court date didn’t go as planned. They talked of the importance of following the path that others in the room had blazed for them in a land where GPS offers no direction.
Over the years, “community” has been a resounding theme. One family, often simultaneously excited and terrified, walks the adoption road. Another family observes their journey, finds courage, and decides, “We also feel called to that path.” One family bravely discusses the difficulties of this parenting journey (every parenting journey has them). Another family realizes they are not alone because of the transparency of others. A couple celebrates completing all the paperwork, home studies, and other steps, and encourages the next couple that they will make it! A mom-to-be prays for the finances to adopt a child, while her village comes together to close that financial gap.
The list goes on and on. Different scenarios, one common theme: community.
Many have adopted without the rallying cry of their community. They have quietly filled out paperwork, completed processes, and brought children into their family. I applaud them for tackling this. Ideally, no one would walk this road alone, and when possible, having support both during and after the adoption process benefits both the adoptive parents and those around them who have the joy of participating.
If you have considered adoption, please also consider building your community support. Add members to your team who have walked this road before you. Add members who are prayer warriors. Yes, add members who can help you raise the funds. Just don’t walk alone!
Preston is the counseling pastor and director of The Center for Hope and Healing at Broadmoor Baptist Church in Madison. He also volunteers as president of Global Concern Inc. (GCI), a Mississippi nonprofit that shares the gospel and facilitates sustainable community development in northern Kenya. He is married to Jennifer, a father of five, and a grandpa of two.
