By Sara Adams
Addiction cost me my children —
but by God’s grace, I got them back
Growing up, I spent a lot of time in the church. I participated in Bible drill and sang in the choir, but somewhere around the age of 13, I ventured away. Now that I look back, I know I was angry at God. My life at home wasn’t ideal. My father was a very angry alcoholic and I remember my home being a very volatile place. I prayed so hard for my circumstances to change for a long time and when they remained the same, I turned away from God.
Finally, when I was 17, my mother and father separated and divorced, but by this time I was already so lost and on a very dark path. This is where my 10-year battle with drug addiction began.
On February 21, 2017, which happened to be my 26th birthday, my whole world crumbled around me. I had given birth to my youngest son, Carter Hayze, only nine days prior and this is the day Child Protective Services took Carter and his older brother Blayze into custody because of my drug use during pregnancy.
I was so broken and ashamed. My family was done — and could I blame them? How could I have ever let it go this far? Truth is, I had no control at this point. My addiction had taken over every aspect of my life. The only thing I was for sure of was if I ever wanted to see my two sons again or have any type of future, I needed help. I checked myself into a treatment center for drug and alcohol dependency two weeks later.
While I was in the treatment center, Blayze was placed with my mother and Carter was released from the hospital into the care of Pastor Jason Dillon and his wife, Christine, of Parkway Church in Madison. I had never met these people and foster care scared me, but this is where my journey to Christ began.
The Dillons didn’t have to love my son as their own, but they did. They could have looked at me with disgust and pushed me away like so many others had, but they didn’t. Instead, they prayed for me and welcomed me into the family with open arms — this was love I had never known before. This couldn’t be anyone but Jesus, I realized.
Right after Christmas 2017, nearly a year after my sons being taken into custody, they were given back to me for a trial period. I was scared and overwhelmed. I was a mother of two boys, clean and sober, working full time and maintaining a household. Not knowing where to turn, I turned to the church and the congregation that loved me when I didn’t love myself. They wrapped us up in love and prayer, and it was there I felt God’s love for the very first time.
I was baptized in Jesus’ name on January 21, 2018, and awarded full custody of my two sons on April 11, 2018. And March 7, 2019, marked two years clean for me, and the blessings from our God during this time have been unimaginable. Who but God could take a situation so dark and tragic and turn it into something so beautiful and amazing?
This journey hasn’t been an easy one but I wouldn’t change it or trade it for the world; because of it, I truly know our Father’s amazing grace, love and mercy. Any impossible situation is possible with Jesus Christ. I am living proof.
Sara Adams, 28, lives in Canton and is a quality assurance technician for Reed Food Technology in Pearl. She is the proud mother of two boys, Carter Hayze and Blayze.