By Joel Sims The following are questions that Pastor Joel Sims (featured in this month’s Cover Story) shares with engaged couples, for them to ask each other before marriage (not necessarily in front of him). Feel free to tear out this page and hand it to an engaged couple you know!

In Joel’s words: “Hear me: You are in love. That’s AWESOME. But take the time to prepare. Problems worked on NOW will be so much more helpful than dealing with them LATER.”


  1. What chores do you expect the other to do around the house?
  2. Who does the laundry?
  3. What are your expectations for how clean the spouse will keep the house?
  4. What will your budget be?
  5. How much money do you need for your emergency fund?
  6. Complete this sentence: What scares me about our relationship is __________.
  7. Complete this sentence: I feel most loved when you _______________.
  8. Do you feel safe sharing your feelings with me?
  9. Whose career would take precedence if it became necessary to pick?
  10. Are you committed to counseling if a problem arises?
  11. Are there any major secrets you need to share with me before marriage?
  12. What do our next five years look like?
  13. When exactly do you think we will start a family?
  14. What are your financial goals, and how will you achieve them?
  15. Why did your past relationships end? Not just a quick answer. Seriously… why?
  16. What role will sex play in our marriage?
  17. What does romance look like to you?
  18. Who will make the biggest decisions in the marriage?
  19. What will holidays look like?
  20. What are your deal-breakers? i.e., if this happens, it would bring out the worst in me.