By Courtney Ingle
Excitement is brewing for the season as we celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We are still human, however, and if we’ve recently suffered loss, the holiday “holly jollies” can seem dull.
I saw this in action with my own kids this year. As we pulled the Christmas decor out from the attic, my daughter opened a box. Right on top was Nana’s stocking.
“Oh, look!” my 8-year-old said. “Wait … what do we do with Nana’s stocking?”
Nana, my grandmother, died the week before Christmas last year. She and I had been Christmas shopping. She wrapped gifts for all of her great-grandkids. Even though she was 88 years young and suffered from Parkinson’s Disease, she was doing well; her sudden stroke and death took us by surprise.
This is the first time I’ve seen my kids really express grief. It has taught me a lot about how to navigate my own grief journey and how to teach them how to do the same.
Grief doesn’t take GOD by surprise
When Lazarus died, Jesus wept. Now, Jesus is God. Jesus knew He was about to raise Lazarus. Why, then, did He cry? Since Christ took on our humanity and emotions to fully walk this life we live, I believe His tears were grief and empathy. He felt the weight of loss and felt for those who were grieving.
God promises in Psalm 34:18 (NIV), “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in Spirit.”
I remind myself there is a time for mourning (Eccl. 3:4). I can appreciate that the grief I feel over Nana’s loss is indicative of a life full of love we shared, and I can remind my children of the same.
How we’re handling grief this Christmas season
It’s OK to honor your loved ones and their physical absence during the holidays. No, we didn’t hang Nana’s stocking. But we did put out her old ceramic Nativity scene. We also bought some ornaments that look like Hershey’s (her favorite chocolate) and cardinals (her favorite bird). We’ve put out lots of decorations featuring the word “joy,” which was her name. In this special way, we can still embrace the JOY she brought to us and the joy of this season.
If you find yourself being hit by the waves of grief this holiday season, reach out to someone in the church. We’re encouraged in 1 Thessalonians to “encourage one another and build each other up” (1 Thess. 5:11). Proverbs 17:17 tells us, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” Anyone who has experienced loss has walked the path you’re on, and perhaps you’ll bring a moment of purpose to their own grief by asking for a moment to be listened to and understood. Encourage your children to talk through their grief too. Pray with them and model to them in age-appropriate ways how you express grief — and always point them to The Great Comforter.
May God bless you in this Christmas season.
Courtney and her husband, Jeremy, live in Brandon and are members at Park Place Baptist Church in Pearl. They have a daughter, Taylor, and a son, Jacob. Courtney is a full-time homemaker and can be reached at courtneyingle89@gmail.com.