By Claire Jordan
In a conversation with a friend about parenting and guiding the kids we love, she shared a quote that struck me: “Mine to steward, not to control.”
I had just begun my own parenting journey, and it was easy to assume I would have control of my children’s lives. However, this quote helped me realize that the children God has given me to love are ultimately His. They are a gift from the Lord, not something I am in control of.
When we think about the kids we love, whether it be our own children, grandchildren, students, neighbors, etc., it can be hard not to want control over them. We want the best for them, and we think we know what that looks like. Yet God has not given us control, but the gift of stewarding them.
As a school counselor, there are times I wish I could control students’ choices. I wish I could say the right thing and a behavior would be changed automatically. Yet God did not give me control, for “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails” (Proverbs 19:21).
The difference between control and stewardship is teaching kids wisdom and how to make wise choices. The hope is that as we teach them these concepts, they’ll learn to make their own wise choices.
For instance, one of the most helpful things we can do for the kids we love is to teach them to self-reflect and think critically. Instead of telling them what to change, ask what they think:
What can you do differently next time?
How can you study differently?
What could you do to show you’re sorry?
Steward the children you know toward wisdom. Teach them scripture so they know what the Bible says about hard situations. The K-12 years are rich with development. We all love to see the picture comparisons of kindergarten versus high-school graduation. It breaks our heart a bit while putting us in awe of how the individual has grown. May we not just focus on their academic or athletic development. May we focus also on their spiritual and emotional development as we raise humans who have discernment and can do hard things.
Letting go of control is hard. If we’re being honest, though, we never had control in the first place – thank God for that!
Claire Jordan is the counselor at First Presbyterian Day School in Jackson. She works with students in preschool through sixth grade. She and her husband live in Jackson with their two children and golden retriever.
Holiday Potpourri fundraiser for First Presbyterian Day School
FPDS’ annual fundraiser Holiday Potpourri will take place Friday, Nov. 13, from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. at the home of Paula and Jimmy Hood. The event will feature a holiday home tour, tastings from local restaurants, a silent auction, and more, with proceeds directly benefitting all FPDS students, faculty, and staff. Tickets go on sale in late October and may be purchased for $10 from any FPDS student, online, or at the event. Each ticket includes a raffle for $1,000. You do not need to be present to win. Parking and shuttles will be available in the neighborhood. For more information, visit holidaypotpourri.org or call 601-355-1731.
