By Charles A. Boudreaux, EdD, LMFT, LPC
As I sat in our sunroom and watched the bluebirds check out our birdhouse, I rejoiced when they chose it to be the home to build their nest! In the days that followed the nest was built, eggs laid, and the mother incubated the eggs while the daddy sat on a nearby post and stood guard, actively defending the nest site. God’s design! As I watched in wonder, God reminded me that it’s His design that we as husbands are to be the leaders in building our marriages on Christ, the Solid Rock, and to actively stand guard and defend our marriages for His glory, offering our wives the gift of security!
I covenant before God and these witnesses
to be your loving and faithful husband
in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow,
in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live.
In Love is a Decision, Gary Smalley shares the following story.
In a family counseling session, Dr. John Trent asked the six-year-old daughter of a couple, “Honey, what makes you feel the worst when Mommy and Daddy argue?” The little girl frowned and said in a small hesitant voice, “It’s when Daddy takes off his wedding ring and throws it away.” When this couple got into a heated argument, if he wanted to end the discussion he would take his wedding ring off and throw it across the room. As it pinged off the walls and rolled across the floor, the wife and his little girl would watch in silence. Later, someone would pick up the fallen ring and leave it on the counter. Eventually the husband would put it back on. For this man throwing away his wedding ring provided an immature emotional release from his frustration. For his wife and child, it caused a deep sense of insecurity and fear. Each time the ring flew through the air it shouted out, “If things don’t go the way I want around here, I’ll throw you right out of my life, too.”
Covenant Marriages offer the gift of unconditional security—not contractual “If (this), then (that),” but covenant “I’ll love you and stay with you no matter what you do or do not do, no matter what trials we may face in years ahead.” God is the Creator and Sustainer of covenants. His covenant love for us is so amazing as reflected in these Bible verses.
• “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).
• “…because God has said “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5b).
• “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:35-39).
God goes to great lengths to assure us that the plans He has for us are grounded in His security and protection. “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’” (Jeremiah 29:11). Now that’s security!
His Spirit living in us empowers us to provide the gift of security for our wives—“I will actively stand guard and defend our marriage for His glory as long as we both shall live!” What a wonderful gift for our children this Father’s Day to have a daddy who is yielded to His Spirit for providing the gift of security for their Mother—which in turn provides the gift of security for them!
“Household of Faith” by Steve Green
We’ll build a household of faith that together we can make
And when the strong winds blow it won’t fall down
As one in Him we’ll grow and the whole world will know
That we are a household of faith.
Charlie Boudreaux is the Congregational Care and Counseling Pastor at First Baptist Church Jackson and Director of Summit Counseling. He can be reached at 601.949.1949 or firstname.lastname@example.org.