By Lisa Sorey
Grief and loss: Is there hope?
When you are grieving, you may feel like no one truly understands what you’re going through. It seems no one can know the depths of your pain. You may even feel like there is no use in talking to others about your grief. There just aren’t the right words to convey your heartbreak.
Feelings like these can leave you in despair or really confused. There are identifiable emotions and stages of grief. But each one of us is different. Each of us feels and experiences grief differently. You might experience all of the emotions and stages of grief, but not necessarily in a particular order — they can be in a quite random order with more than one stage at a time.
The following are words I have heard individuals use to describe their personal grief: inconsolable, devastated, traumatized, mourning, suffering, sorrowful, heartbroken, desolate, tearful, disorganized, crazy, forgetful, alone and angry. I’m sure you can think of others, as well.
It’s very disruptive when your life has been turned upside down. Many things can cause us to feel ambushed by our emotions. For example, one day you go to lunch with a friend and when she orders lunch, her choice is something that your loved one especially enjoyed eating. Suddenly, you are crying over the menu. You aren’t crazy! You aren’t overly emotional! This is a normal part of traveling the grief journey.
We will all experience grief at some point. If we want to heal from our grief, we cannot take a shortcut. You must go through your grief. One way to look at this is each time you take a step on this path you are taking a step toward healing. Take a moment to try and identify where you are on your grief journey. Just by admitting you are grieving, your journey has begun.
Is there a resource to help people along the healing journey? I want to offer you one specific way to begin the healing process. There is a biblically based support group called GriefShare that is available in the metro Jackson area offered by several different churches.
How does GriefShare help one begin to heal? A GriefShare support group enables a person to heal by reassuring biblically that God does care about our pain and He has great compassion for us. Consider Psalm 10:14, “But you, God see the trouble of the afflicted, you consider their grief and take it in hand.” God hears when we cry for help! He opens his arms for us to come to Him for comfort.
Another area covered in GriefShare is God’s plan to end your suffering. How can God understand this very human problem of grief? He can relate. He grieved the death of His Son, Jesus, whose death was terrible. But God allowed Jesus to die. This was God’s plan to end suffering and death for us. God wants to bring hope and healing to all of us. “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, Father of compassion and God of all comfort,” 2 Corinthians 1:3.
Our compassionate God has left us with His Word, the Bible. God’s Word reveals to us who God really is. It shows us His loving heart for us. And He is patient with us as we heal: “The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love,” Psalm 103:8. Even when your heart is broken, you can place your hope and trust in the Lord!
Lisa Sorey and Josh Haycraft are currently leading GriefShare for Summit Counseling, a ministry of First Baptist Church of Jackson. GriefShare meets on Tuesday nights, from 6– 7:30 p.m. All are welcome to join GriefShare. For more info, call 601.949.1949.
Lisa Sorey is a licensed professional counselor and a contract therapist for Summit Counseling.