By SHAY GREENWOOD
What a beautiful season! Just a couple of months ago, my daughter Chandler married the man of her dreams! When he proposed in September 2022, we knew a wedding date would be sooner rather than later. What a joy it has been to watch the Lord move in their hearts to fall in love!
My goal since the beginning of their dating journey was to have joy and peace in this new season. Chandler had never dated a young man before, and it has been a fun time helping her process all the newness of dating. Then when Bo asked her to marry him, I knew I would need to be intentional in savoring all the moments. All I had heard was how stressful planning a wedding can be, and I didn’t want to look back and have any regrets.
How do you intentionally have joy and peace as the mother of the bride?
1. Be encouraging and available to your daughter as she plans HER wedding.
Besides the obvious budgetary boundaries, it is crucial to know that it’s HER wedding day. I made sure I asked questions rather than giving advice: “What do you want to do?” or “Oh, where did you see that idea?” Or a statement like, “Tell me more about that.”
I would gather more information from her and then ask, “What do you think?” She then would either tell me what she was going to do … or ask me for advice. Only then would I give it. I feel like this kept the peace and joy for all of us.
If she started feeling anxious, I would remind her that the Lord would provide. We know that “My God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19).
Her daddy kept telling her, “Keep the main thing the main thing.” This just meant, you are getting married to Bo — none of the other details matter. This will definitely preach.
2. Hire a wedding planner.
No, seriously — don’t hesitate on this. Because I have a lot on my plate — running a business, an 11-year-old at home, and Roosevelt’s doctor’s appointments and daily needs as a cancer survivor — it’s important for me to guard my time.
We hired Honeysuckle Hollow Events by Design as our wedding planner. I was asked over and over, “Are you stressed?” The question would send me into a panic: Oh no! I should be stressed — what am I forgetting? Then I’d remember — we have a wedding planner. (Then I’d hear my husband say, “Keep the main thing the main thing.”) Denise, at Honeysuckle, was such a blessing to us, constantly reassuring that she had everything taken care of! Thank you so much, Denise! We are forever thankful for you and your team.
3. Practice getting dressed.
I practiced getting dressed for the wedding a handful of times. I didn’t want to feel rushed on the wedding day. I wanted to be available to help Chandler get dressed and be totally on for her. I also wanted to be confident about my makeup, hair, and what I was wearing so I’d know I would look and feel my best, and I wouldn’t feel panicked that morning.
I have tons more advice, but here’s one bonus suggestion: I was trying to be so accommodating to my daughter that I didn’t really speak up about my mother-of-the-bride dress. Oh no! I got caught up and chose a dress because my daughter said she liked it, rather than thinking through the best color for me.
I had to sleep on it for a few days before I knew I’d picked the wrong dress! I’m so thankful they allowed me to choose one of the other dresses that I liked better. Don’t settle for just any dress, momma! It’s OK for you to look and feel your best.
Anybody want the continuation of the wedding planning and maybe even wedding pictures in July’s issue? Come find me on the socials and let me know!
• All of my makeup can be found at shaygreenwood.net under Shay’s Faves.
• My dress can be found at kaysformalwear.com.
Shay is a style coach with a mission to help women look and feel their best! Follow her on Facebook and Instagram @shaygreenwood.