By DAN HALL
For your Maker is your husband —
the Lord Almighty is his name — the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
he is called the God of all the earth. – Isaiah 54:5, NIV
“For your Maker is your Husband … ”
Being a single mom has to be one of the most challenging jobs on earth. Living daily with the normal pressures of bills and housework, managing menus and taxi service, and being the chief party planner and lead therapist, alternating between dictator and friend. Not to mention the weight of shepherding a vulnerable heart. Many times, quite alone.
Add to that, single moms can often feel judged or pitied by society.
In 1992, vice presidential candidate Dan Quayle criticized the fictional character Murphy Brown for choosing to keep her child when the father chose not to stay. It was an interesting twist: Quayle was trying to elevate the role of fathers but inadvertently criticized the courage of a woman raising her child alone. I’m not affirming the show; I’m simply noting how unconsciously myopic we can be.
I have found that “Statistics say … ” has never helped lift the burden off a mom already weighed down with the thousand emotions she navigates every day. We can’t argue with statistics, but we can defy them.
“For your Maker is your Husband … ”
Single moms can spiral with questions: Will my child struggle unduly without a father? Will my son develop his masculinity? Will my daughter know the safe love of a man who values her simply for who she is?
Single moms can struggle with feeling alone with all this weight, fearing their child or children will somehow be thwarted, withheld or disadvantaged in some insurmountable way. This fear can lead to either extreme: debilitating depression or frenetic chaos.
“For your Maker is your Husband … ”
In this passage, God is speaking to Israel relative to the promise of His covenant.
Embedded in that promise, we see the beauty of God’s compassion for the lone heart, sitting catatonic in front of her TV, oblivious to the storyline, unsure whether to sob or go to bed. I hope that heart can hear, “You are not alone, honey — you are in My hands! I’ve got you!”
When you cry out to Him for wisdom, He will give it (James 1:5). When you need provision, call to Him and He will make a way. I mean, your Husband is “the God of all the earth”!
You don’t throw a football well? Give it a try and trust the rest to God. Can’t sing “Baby Shark” one more time without losing your mind? Look to your Husband and say thanks, and sing anyway. After all, your Husband is “your Redeemer.”
When your child needs to know the strength of a man’s hand, hold them close and know that the strength you draw from your Husband is flowing through you to them. He’s got this with you!
“For your Maker is your Husband … ”
My daughter found herself alone when the father of her child decided he didn’t want to give what it takes. I have watched from the front row how this single treasure embraced her reality, often struggling but always moving forward, putting herself through college. She went on to earn her master’s degree, covering her expenses almost solely herself, and is now being praised consistently by her colleagues and supervisors.
All while raising the most amazing, beautiful, intelligent, caring, funny, talented, and shall I say PERFECT 11-year-old granddaughter in the world.
A final word to the Christian community: In our often well-intentioned fight for the nuclear family and all the principles that we know strengthen hearts, relationships and societies, let’s not forget to lead with grace: not a grace that is blind to failure, but neither a grace that only sees in terms of heaven and hell; the grace that welcomes the broken, the alone.
Let’s embrace those facing challenges, maybe of their doing or maybe not, but nonetheless, challenges that some of us have been able to avoid. Our unconditional love, tangible support, and community can be the very conduit of the Father’s heart to our precious sisters.
Closing thought: I have known some incredible single dads. Limited space forces me to focus on one parent only. Men, contact me if it would be helpful.
Dan Hall is an executive and strategic coach to leaders and executive teams. He also works with organizations on team building, conflict resolution and communication skills. He and his wife, Hazel, have six children and four grandchildren. You can reach him at Dan@OnCourseSolutions.com.
