By Katie Ginn
I recently attended a luncheon with about 100 other believers. The speaker was a pretty woman around my age, wife to a pastor and mom to five children. Her outfit was cute, and her voice carried like it was supposed to.
For these and other reasons that I don’t care to list, when Pretty Pastor’s Wife introduced the topic of “biblical womanhood,” my hackles were raised all the way up. Great, I barely put on mascara today, my hair isn’t doing right, and all I wanted was a free meal – but sure, let’s talk about what it means to be a woman. Sigh.
Men, I’m curious: Have you experienced a version of this? You’re at some Christian event where the topic is “how to be a man of God,” and the man of God onstage looks like a perfect masculine prototype – while you sulk over your chicken breast and wish you’d done some push-ups that morning. Is this a thing?
To my relief, Pretty Pastor’s Wife didn’t camp out in Proverbs 31 or talk about how we’re all failing as biblical women. (Why did I half expect her to? That says more about me than it does her.) Primarily, she encouraged us to speak life into those around us. Well, that’s all right with me …
Later, as she led us in a prayer for the women of Jackson to be women of God, she prayed that no “root of bitterness” would spring up in any of us (see Hebrews 12:15). Ouch. OK, God.
Appropriately, that pastor’s wife is involved with a ministry called Real Woman. I say “appropriately” because sometimes it’s hard for me to be “real” with other women, especially if I feel insecure, unpopular, or out of place. My heart is so much easier and more open when talking or listening to a man. I have a wonderful mom and no ugly stepsisters. But somehow, subconsciously, I see women as the enemy.
And my real enemy, the devil, just loves that. He loves it when we’re intimidated, jealous, or resentful (whichever gender we are). He loves it when we compare ourselves to others and lose our joy if we don’t “fit in.” That inferiority complex, that chip on your shoulder – that root of bitterness? It makes him giddy. He wants us to feel unworthy.
On the other hand, while we were all dead, ugly, and powerless in our sin – i.e., actually unworthy, in and of ourselves – Jesus Christ died and paid for our sins so we could be with Him. He willingly laid down His life so He could call us His friends (John 15:13). You don’t do that for someone you don’t value. You do that for someone you treasure.
According to a 2022 article from Medium, several studies show that 85 percent of Americans have low self-esteem. A 2023-24 study by the Pew Research Center found that 62 percent of American adults identify as Christians. It would seem there’s some overlap: Plenty of professing Christians are insecure. Yet we have the answer!
Jesus is waiting for us to draw near to Him and rest; to remember how amazing He is, and therefore how amazing we are as His creation; to get our value from Him, the One who erased our sin and granted us His righteousness; and to be so fulfilled in Him that we can look at others with kindness instead of jealousy.
It’s easy to clam up and avoid anyone whose appearance or achievements make us feel less-than. Instead, we ought to remember the cross and what it says, both bad and good, about all of us. Jesus died for the people we envy. And yeah, they probably have some insecurities, too.
Do they know Jesus? If not, maybe we should tell them how He’s met us and made us worthy. If they’re a believer, maybe we should consider linking arms with them. The Bible tells us repeatedly to encourage each other. That means sharing our real joys and struggles, with real, trustworthy Christians, in real time – so we’ll all be reminded that we’re not alone.
And guess what? We each need to be willing to go first.
Here’s to finding our worth in Christ. Here’s to being real.