By Katie Ginn
In honor of National Adoption Awareness Month, we talked with four adoptive families from Mississippi who shared their stories. These stories are all different, but they’re all about children who are dearly loved. Most importantly, they all present a picture of the gospel, in which God has adopted believers into His family (Ephesians 1:5). God uses adoption to show off His plan of redemption for the world, and we celebrate that!
Kyle and Katie Lewis
- Samara (pronounced Suh-MAR-uh), adopted at 10 days old, now 4 years old (as of November 10)
- How the Lewises adopted: Domestically through an agency (New Beginnings, Tupelo)
- Samara’s favorite thing about her family: “Mommy.” What about Mommy? “Everything.”
How they decided
“It was something we intended to do,” Katie says. “But we started out trying to have a family naturally and went through some infertility. And about a year into treatments, I was like, you know what? I’m not into this anymore. Let’s start adoption.”
Challenges and fears
“Mother’s Day weekend 2020, they called and said they had a baby for us in Tupelo, and the mom wanted to meet us,” Katie says. “We went up there (on a Friday night) and met mom and grandma. We stayed in the hospital. … Saturday afternoon or evening, we were told she had changed her mind. So it was one of the worst things (we’ve) ever been through.”
“That made me a little apprehensive (when it came to Samara’s adoption),” Kyle says.
Katie’s other concern: “Am I going to feel the same as if this were my own (biological) child?”
Her answer: “Yes! We could not have birthed a more perfect child for us. It’s so funny. I talk about testing nature vs nurture all the time. But she is so much like both of us.”
The biggest surprise: siblings!
“When we got home with Samara, I guess the next day maybe, Cori, our social worker, called and said, ‘I just want to let you know Samara has a sibling actually in your area. … I can connect you with the family if you want to.’ And Becky (Barnhill) and I communicated, and we found out we were five minutes away from each other” (laughs).
The Barnhills had adopted Samara’s older brother Drew and would later adopt her younger sister Lucy, too.
“In fact, one day Samara and Drew and Lucy will go to school together,” Katie says. “We get together and hang out and do birthday parties.”
The biggest blessing
“Her being like both of us,” Kyle says. “There are days when we probably wish she was not like us – but she is. Especially when you get the same facial expressions you give her. She’s gotten really good at raising her eyebrow and squinting her eyes the way I do when I get onto her. That part’s a little hard.”
Katie says Samara brings an air of joy and sparkle wherever she goes. (Anyone who attended our cover shoot would agree!)
“Everybody at church knows her. Everybody at school knows her. Everybody at Kyle’s school knows her. Before anybody asks how we’re doing, they ask about her,” Katie says. “She’s just herself. She’s funny and caring. More than we could’ve imagined for a child. I just pray that she continues to be the way she is – caring and inclusive and brightening people’s day.”
Advice for couples considering adoption
“Be open,” Kyle says. “It’s not going to go the way you think it’s going to, probably. (But) that’s the way life is in general.”
“I think I’ve answered that question before with, ‘Do it,’” Katie says. “There are so many things that we don’t get to experience that natural parents do. But there are so many things we get to experience that other people don’t. And the network is so huge.”
Lee and Becky Barnhill
- Biological kids Lila and Harry, 10 and 7 years old respectively
- Adopted son Drew, adopted at 10 days old, now 4 years old
- Adopted daughter Lucy, adopted at 5 days old, now 2 years old
- How the Barnhills adopted: Domestically through an agency (New Beginnings, Tupelo)
How they decided
“I’ve actually felt called to adoption since I was about a teenager,” Becky says. “It was just kind of on the table (when we got married). In between our two biological children, we had some miscarriages and trouble … I think that’s when (Lee) came around.”
“We met with an agency, and then (pursued) a private adoption that ended up (failing),” Lee continues. “Then we got pregnant with our son, Harry. But even after that, this tug to (adopt) didn’t go away.”
Why adopt domestically?
“We know there’s a need here,” Lee says. “You’ve got to start in Jerusalem before you go to Samaria and the ends of the earth.”
Challenges and fears
Adopting through an agency was rigorous, especially since the Barnhills were open to adopting outside their race. “I would say there’s 20 hours of training …. Then we had to do three home studies,” Becky says.
“Then several (home studies) post placement,” Lee adds. Plus financial disclosures, drug testing and a complete physical, including a vision test – not to mention the expense. “There are resources that have to be compensated,” Lee says.
The Barnhills also were concerned about how the community would view their interracial family. And yes, they’ve had to “correct” a few well-meaning friends who’ve made ignorant remarks. “But we’re trying to, one kid at a time and one conversation at a time, diminish that,” Lee says.
The biggest surprise: Siblings!
After adopting Drew – and after finding out he had a little sister who’d been adopted by the Lewises! – “we thought our family was complete,” Becky recalls. Then they got a call saying Drew’s biological mom was in the hospital and about to have another baby. Would the Barnhills be willing to adopt again?
They only had two hours to decide. With Drew, they’d had a couple days. Becky called Lee, and ultimately they said yes.
The biggest blessing
“How often God continues to show up and either provide for us (or) open doors and opportunities (to) witness and create impact,” Lee says.
“Even (Samara) being with Katie and Kyle five minutes down the road,” Becky adds. “Their whole story and our story has unfolded (in similar ways).”
Advice for couples considering adoption
“Do it,” Becky says.
“You’ve got to be very grounded in your marriage, because there’s going to be a lot of twists and turns and unexpected things, and things where you have to take huge leaps of faith in a short amount of time,” Lee says.
“You have to trust God,” Becky says. “We both like to be in control. … And we had zero control through this whole process.”
Finally, “I think you have to see it as a calling and part of your witness and your mission,” Lee says, “because it’s opened up so many opportunities for me to tell our story when people see a picture of our family, especially through work. … I always use it to talk about God and faith.”
Lora and Teddy McDaniel
- Maisie, fostered at 6 months old, adopted at 2 years old; now 11 years old
- Aleah, fostered at 7 days old, adopted at 5 years old; now 7 years old
- How the McDaniels adopted: Through foster care
- Maisie and Aleah’s favorite thing about their family: Eating out at Chick-Fil-A!
How they decided, and why foster care
“I wrote a college paper about The Baptist Children’s Village,” Lora says. “So if I think all the way back to that, that was something on my heart … Then we got married (and) Teddy was in seminary, and we were both working at a sandwich shop and knew that adoption financially was not possible at that moment.
“Then we had some friends who fostered, so we went over to their house one night for dinner, and they told us about foster care … (we thought), we can love on a kid right now. And through foster care, most of the financial part was covered.”
Challenges and fears
“The initial fear going into it was not knowing the personalities that will be coming into your home and the trauma that they’ve been through before … and feeling, am I equipped to help them walk through that?” Lora says.
Before fostering and adopting Maisie, the McDaniels had two children placed with them who eventually went back to their biological families – which is the ultimate goal of foster care. Did Teddy and Lora ever think, “We don’t want to foster anymore?”
“Yes, every time (a child went back),” Lora says. “It is a grief that is still within me. And it is hard. (But) we never felt like we were done, so we never closed our home. Then any time a call would come, it was a prayerful, do we say yes?”
Sometimes they said no.
Finally, after fostering and adopting Aleah, the McDaniels felt God saying, “You’ve done what I asked you to do.”
Today, “there are things that (Aleah) feels and experiences that break my heart, that she notices,” Lora says. “And they both know that we sometimes get a couple of extra looks when we’re out and about. What I have prayed for both of them is that because they have similar stories, that God has used that to bring them together to understand each other.
“And when the doubts come in … it’s constantly God reminding me, ‘Yeah, but I picked you. … That means I’m going to sustain you through all the challenges and unknowns.’”
The biggest surprise
“From when she was born until she was 6 months old (and we got the call to foster her), Maisie lived down the street from us with this elderly couple that had hundreds of foster babies over their lifetime,” Lora says. “And they were Christians and took her to church every Sunday. We had no idea.”
The biggest blessing
“There’s not many times that we remember that they’re even adopted,” Lora says. “They’re just our kids. And even when they were in foster care, they were still just our kids. There wasn’t a label.”
Advice for couples considering foster care
“Have a support group and a community around you,” Lora says. “There are still people that I need in my life that have walked through foster care, because it is such a specific journey – only those people really understand it fully, where you can just be open.”
Gloria and Chad Hunsberger
- Biological kids Abigail and Luke, 15 and 13 respectively
- Adopted daughter Lottie, adopted at 2, now 13
- Adopted son Zeke, adopted at 5, now 8
- How the Hunsbergers adopted: Internationally through agencies (Lifeline Children’s Services to adopt Lottie from China; Children of the World out of Fairhope, Alabama, to adopt Zeke from India)
- Lottie and Zeke’s favorite thing about their family: Going to the beach (which they did shortly after our cover shoot)!
How they decided
“We just felt really burdened at the orphan crisis,” Gloria says. “(But) we had zero money. We had tiny kids. (Chad) was still in his doctoral program. It was like, I don’t know how we’re going to do this.
“I was reading (a resource to help us parent our toddlers), about how delayed obedience is disobedience … And that convicted me so much – because we did feel like God wanted us to (adopt). As God does, He provided each step of the way.”
Why adopt internationally – and from 2 different countries?
“God really made us aware of the global scale of the orphan crisis,” Gloria says. “(Not) everyone is called to international adoption. So even the fact that He gave us that burden … was the nudge that helped us.”
When orphans age out of the system in countries like China and India, they are “turned out with no plan,” Gloria says. “What happens (in China) is, a lot are trafficked. Especially children with disabilities (like Lottie).”
Lottie’s adoption from China took “only” 18 months, which is quick for international, Gloria says. Then within another year or two, the Hunsbergers felt like they wanted to adopt again.
“Our oldest would point out things like, we have another seat at our table. We had six chairs and there were five of us. Same thing in our car: We have another seat in our car!” Gloria recalls.
They tried foster care for a couple years but never had a placement that resulted in adoption. The Hunsbergers decided to adopt internationally again.
“We wanted to pursue a boy … and matching with a boy in China is a little more difficult … The need in India was just as great. (The Children of the World agency was) very well established in India.”
Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, Zeke’s adoption took four years total – including two years after matching with him. “Looking back, he was meant to be in our family (regardless of how long it took).”
Challenges and fears
“We had checked ‘no’ to all neurological disabilities. And Lottie has spina bifida, which is a major neurological disability,” Gloria says. “We had 48 hours to (decide after getting the call about her).”
The Hunsbergers said yes, and Lottie has had 18 surgeries since her adoption. “I can’t imagine her being in a different family,” Gloria says. “People say, ‘I don’t know how you do that,’ but I say, ‘But you would do it too.’ You’re never prepared for parenting at any time (laughs), but God equips you.”
Today, though Lottie uses a wheelchair, “she is very independent at 13 years old,” Gloria says.
The biggest surprise
“When you think about the millions of children that were in these countries, and that these particular ones were matched with our particular family … we know it’s ordained by the Lord,” Gloria says. “How did we get these kids who are clearly our kids?”
Advice for couples considering adoption
“Continue to seek the Lord’s will,” Gloria says. “And if you feel called to it, the Lord is going to carry you through that.”
Just a few weeks before this interview, the Hunsbergers learned that China had closed all international adoptions. One couple from their church had been matched with a boy in China, and now they won’t get to bring him home.
Even in such circumstances, Gloria says, “continue to take steps of obedience, and continue to look for open doors that the Lord is leading you through. Seek support from those around you who’ve done it before. Seek support from a Bible-believing agency.”
Hearts of Compassion
A ministry of Colonial Heights Baptist Church in Ridgeland, where Chad Hunsberger pastors, Hearts of Compassion provides matching grants to Christian families pursuing adoption.
“Let’s say (the family is) awarded $4,000 – as they raised $4,000 we would match that dollar for dollar,” Gloria Hunsberger says. “We want to turn $4,000 into $8,000.”
Sometimes, when adoptions happen too fast for a family to raise the money, “we can also do zero-interest loans,” Gloria says.
“Families we have given grants to can also fundraise at our annual 5K and silent auction. They might have their own team running, or they might have a table set up where they’re selling (merchandise).”
This year’s Hearts of Compassion 5K and silent auction will be held November 9. For more information, visit Heartsofcompassion.life.