By Ruth Ann Rigby, CRS
When one person in your family serves, the whole family serves. I’ve been a Mississippi Highway Patrol State Trooper wife for nearly three decades. I know the fear when the phone rings, the silence in a truck after a bad call, watching someone you love carry things they can’t put down. If that’s you — you’re not imagining it, and you’re not alone in it.
Galatians 6:2 says it plainly: “Carry each other’s burdens.” It’s why my husband Jody and I, along with some incredible people, came together to start First Responders of Mississippi (FROM) in 2018. We needed something like this back when I was struggling with trauma, addiction, and all in between — and we knew we weren’t the only ones.
Here are a few real ways to check in — on your first responder and on you:
- Ask better questions. “How was your shift?” gets you nothing. Try, “What was the hardest part of today?” Then be quiet and let them answer.
- Notice the quiet changes. Short temper, pulling away, trouble sleeping, drinking more than usual — these aren’t character flaws. They’re signs that the weight is piling up. If the silence turns into talk of not wanting to be here anymore, that’s not a wait-and-see. That’s a call for help, now.
- Take care of you, too. You need your own person to talk to — a counselor, a friend, a pastor. That’s not weakness. That’s wisdom.
- Protect your rest. One “phones put away” meal a week can be holy ground for your family.
I know this from the inside. When my world fell apart from horrific trauma, I turned to alcohol to numb the night terrors. My name is Ruth Ann, and I am an alcoholic. If I could find the help I needed, so can you. I’ve been sober 29 years.
Dr. Richard Zumwalt, a neuropsychologist and former police officer, puts it simply: Recovery isn’t just removing what’s harmful — it’s retraining how you think. That’s hope, not just theory.
This is why FROM exists — to help you, your family, and your agency in your greatest time of need. In December is our Annual Holiday Networking Luncheon & Toy Drive. If you’re a first responder and need Toy Assistance, please apply. If you are a first responder’s family and need assistance, please apply and join us.
Visit our website for more information and resources: firstrespondersofms.com.
If your family is hurting, hear me: You do not have to carry this alone. If your family is hurting, please reach out to us, or if your situation is an emergency, dial 988 or go to the nearest emergency room. The ones who run toward danger for us deserve someone running toward them, too.
Additional Resource: Thought Fitness: Thriving vs. Surviving by Dr. Richard Zumwalt, available wherever books are sold.
Ruth Ann Rigby, CRS, is a Certified Recovery Specialist and Crisis Navigator with nearly 30 years of experience in behavioral health and addiction treatment. She co-founded First Responders of Mississippi, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit, and is a member of the Advisory Council for the Center for Hope and Healing at Broadmoor Baptist Church in Madison.
