By Katie Ginn
Since getting married two years ago this month, Stephen and I have been on a journey to find our place as a couple in Christian community. I have close girlfriends whom I see and talk to regularly; he has a weekly men’s group. But we’d like to spend quality time with “couple friends” too. Living out a purposeful, Christ-honoring marriage is hard, and we’d rather not do it alone.
Soon after the honeymoon, we joined a Sunday morning life group for “nearly-weds and newlyweds.” The other newlyweds were vibrant and fun, but we were a decade older than most of them. When they missed group, they were traveling back from a fun weekend trip. When we missed group, we were just tired. We somehow had both more experience (in years) and less experience than they did – many had been married longer than us, and some of them are parents now.
Next, we migrated to another couples’ group with folks closer to our own age. We no longer felt like “the older couple,” but we were too introverted for the group’s large size.
Finally, we hauled our Goldilocks selves up to the third floor of the church and found a life group that seems to be “just right” for us in this season. I think we’re the only couple with no kids, but we’ve already had a chance to share our testimony with the group, and we’ve heard other couples’ stories too. We’re starting to connect.
Now the challenge is to intentionally hang out with our friends, both old and new. We still feel too busy to set a date, send a text, and invite a couple to our house for dinner. But we’re working on it. I’m determined that we’ll have a “get together” at some point after Easter.
I know we’re not as busy as we think. We humans tend to make time for the things we really want. Case in point:
On a recent Saturday evening, Stephen joined me on the couch, where I was reading a thriller about the escape of two super intelligent, genetically modified creatures – one friendly, one violent – from a research lab. I kept reacting verbally to the novel as I read (that’s how you know it was good); Stephen asked what was happening on the page; I told him; and then he said, “Do you want to read some?” Meaning out loud.
Six hours later, at 1:45 a.m., we finished the book. We had church later that morning.
I’m physically incapable of sleeping past 8:30 most of the time, so I made it to life group, though not to worship. Stephen slept through both. When I told a few people at group that we’d stayed up too late reading, they joked, “Sure, you were ‘reading.’ We get it.” No, really, we were!
Like I said, we carve out time for what we want. I guess if we can spend six hours playing human audiobook, we could spend half that time with other Christian couples … We’ll get there. We might not have our marital social life figured out yet, but at least we have friends who’ll tease us (not judge us) for missing church due to an ill-advised reading bender. I won’t despise these small beginnings!
Regardless of your marital status, there’s plenty of great content that you can expect in this Marriage Issue of MCL, both marriage-related and otherwise:
- Our cover interview with two couples who discuss everything from first impressions to how God loves them through their spouse
- Things you might forget on your wedding day
- How to find joy in your everyday wardrobe
- And more!
I hope you enjoy this edition. Just don’t stay up too late reading it!