PASTOR’S PERSPECTIVE—Restoration After Ashley Madison

By on October 6, 2015
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By Robert Green

If you are married and were to get a divorce, you would need to legally give “grounds for divorce.” We get that. But how about this? If you stay married, you need to be able to give “grounds for marriage.” Why should we stay in this thing? What reasons do we have to keep on loving, stay devoted, stick it out, strive for oneness, and be faithful?

Recently, we’ve learned about an online allurement, that beckons, “Life is short. Have an affair.” Ashely Madison has made news, people nervous, and some marriages suffer pain.

For some of you right now, sexual sin is the thing that is killing your marriage. You need to know God can mend what has been broken, but it will require you to have humility, honesty, trust, and a desire to pursue sexual intimacy the way God has outlined.

Early in Scripture we learn, “And they (Adam and Eve) were naked and were not ashamed,” (Genesis 2:25). This meant safety, openness, and courage. Adam and Eve were saying to each other, “Only you—nobody else” For them it was easier because there was no one else. 🙂

How do we—today—in these times—know and maintain fidelity and intimacy? Back in biblical times, Corinth was a type of Las Vegas city—hedonistic and sexually promiscuous. In 1 Corinthians, Chapter 6, the church in that city is told that they are not the products of their appetites. A wise, mature person does not seek to satisfy every single appetite that they have. We call that adolescence. We call that immaturity. If I sought to pursue every appetite I had, I would derail my life by the end of the day. So Paul says, “You are not the products of your appetites, so don’t let your appetites drive you.”

Sex is a created thing that is a good thing but can become a bad thing if it becomes a ruling thing. If we allow our hearts to be ruled by sex or sexual pleasure or sexual power, we will not only misuse this good gift of God but also end up being controlled by it. Sexual distortion and addiction do not exist because sex itself is bad but because we have put it in a place that God never intended.

I believe followers of Christ should have a much higher view of human sexuality than everyone else. Why? Because we do not worship creation, we worship the Creator God. We do not worship sex; we worship the God who gave us sex as a gift. If you worship sex, the irony is that the pleasure of it will elude you. When you worship the God who gave you sex it becomes much more enjoyable. And if you are single you can live without it because sex is not something that fulfills you, God is.

Sex and the Gospel mirror each other. The gospel says you can be transformed by love as you stand before God vulnerable, naked and unashamed and say “God this is me” Back to you, He says, “I know everything about you and you are received and loved completely.”

For those who have messed up or recently been found out—your past sexual sin is no match for the grace of Jesus demonstrated on a cross. So let’s take something that may be considered dirty or defiled or shameful and let’s offer it up as a beautiful gift. It is not too late. You can begin again. You can be made clean before God. Your covenant with your spouse can be made new.